honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize