She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
