Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
