Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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