508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize