They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize