I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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