It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
