Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
