there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
