I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
