apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
