so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
