I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
