i always forget guys have bellybuttons
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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