your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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