guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize