yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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