It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize