i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
