you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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