it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
