If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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