My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
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