i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
