I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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