I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
