I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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