i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Hippo gnu deer
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
