dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize