what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
