there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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