My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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