Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
