did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
