So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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