kristin has been a bad kristin
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
