its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
