He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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