stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
