If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
