heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
