Got a toothbrush?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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