i just snorted my name. best moment ever
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
