im six kinds of drunk right now
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
