Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
