ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
