At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
