I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
