We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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