i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
