yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
