You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
