yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
