i don't like sucking hair
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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