If i come over, it means nothing
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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