No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
