Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize