im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
