hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
