I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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