We won't sleep together?
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
